Personal Hygiene and the Asperger's Child

A common behavior characteristic in Aspergers kids is the dislike of grooming and personal hygiene habits. Aspies of all ages seem to have difficulty establishing sound hygiene routines in the areas of bathing/showering, brushing hair, changing clothes, haircuts, cleaning teeth and washing hair.  You are probably wondering "Where do I begin to get this all under control?".  Honestly it is a step by step process and you will not accomplish it all within a week or a few months.  I will not explain why the aspie child has problems in this area as that can be found anywhere you look on the web.  I want to keep each post short and sweet and how we as a TEAM worked together to overcome each obstacle. 

This series of blogs will attempt to gear you in the right direction.  It is what I have done and although we are far from being there we are slowly getting to that point.  I will list each one below and as I have a post written I will enter the link so you can follow up on it.  Please add your suggestions cause what works for one might not work for another and who knows, I might find the missing link that will help my son overcome his difficulties with you sharing how you got your child to improve on his personal hygiene.

My darling son is going to be 15 and I think our biggest obstacle right now is still with brushing teeth.  So that will be probably the last post I write about in this series as we are still working on it.  I want to start with showering as this has been a battle in itself since he was 2 years old.  I like to say I no longer need to remind him it's time for a shower and I will share in my post - Personal Hygiene (Bathing/Showering) on how we accomplished this.  Sit back and enjoy and visit often as I work on this series.

Upcoming Post in regards to Personal Hygiene with the Aspie Child:

Bathing/Showering - washing all body parts -[Click here to read this post]
Washing Hair {post forthcoming}
Changing Clothes {post forthcoming}
Haircuts {post forthcoming}
Brushing Teeth {post forthcoming}

Feel free to email me any questions/comments and I will answer them within a day as my email is checked on a daily basis or leave a comment below.

Can I Continue Blogging? Challenge Me!

Jan 2013 - We all make resolutions come the new year - but how many of us actually keep them.  I am guilty for one - maybe I should make a new year's resolution that says I will not break any of my resolutions. This is why I titled this one can I continue.  I need to devote once a week to this blog.  It definitely isn't that I have nothing to say -- as this past year (2012) was full of exciting and also disappointing news/happenings.  I just have trouble finding the time to post.  I would love to get my followers back to visiting my blog and I guess the best way to do it is to become more active in keeping this blog.

This weekend I will try -- I said try -- to find some time to write about some cool happenings over the past year.  They are etched in my mind and if I get them down in here I am sure you and the next person will want to bookmark/feed this blog to keep coming back to see what happens next.

Parenting my asperger's child (no longer is Asperger's in the DSM-5 - as it was removed as a disorder and "collapsing" it under the autism spectrum disorders.) is still the main blog - I kind of like keeping it separate and having a name to my son's disorder -- My blog's title just could not be: Parenting my Autistic Spectrum Disorder Child.  ha ha.

Some very near future blogs:

Ways I learned to calm my child during a rage in 10 minutes or less
Getting you child involved socially even if he/she has no friends
Introducing new foods
Personal Hygiene (this is still a very hot topic in our household but we are getting there)
High School and the Asperger's Child
How to Get Siblings to Understand
Career Goals beyond High School - start now don't wait
Asperger's - Outside View Looking In ---> My son's blog

Bear with me as I have a feeling this will be a great year in blogging if I can devote once a week.  I will do my best although I might need you to flood my inbox with messages to keep me going.

Autism Child and Apartment Living

Does anyone live in an apartment complex with their ASD child. I am in such a situation -- it's one of those times you wonder if the whole world is up against you. I received a ltr from our landlord that they will not be renewing our lease for the upcoming year. Sucks! I am a single mom with the twin boys and I am 100% convinced it is our neighbor below us that continues to write management about the 'so-called noise level' which she has been complaining about for the last 7 years. There is no talking to this neighbor as she had it against us the day we moved in when she made a comment to my sister (thinking she was the one moving in) by saying "I hope you don't have any kids). My sister replied "it was her sister moving in and she has beautiful twin 7 years old". And she turned around and said "Oh I hate kids"... Well 7 years later after always paying rent on time and boys doing no destruction to this property we get this letter. They are aware I am raising an autistic boy and it isn't always pleasant. Sure the easy way out is to find another apartment complex to suit our needs -- but .. coming up with the first month/last month rent plus security deposit is gonna be almost impossible. The other places I have been checking into are at least $125 more a month. I am on a strict budget and even having an additional $50 a month put out is gonna be such a financial burden. I've checked with local assistance groups and no one seems to be able to help. My fear is 'it doesn't matter where we move -- eventually someone will complain that my autistic son is not allowing them to live in a peaceful community (Autism is never peaceful) -- even though the disruptions never ever occur after 9pm at night or before 7am in the morning as he is in his bed. The management company has made up their mind -- they will not change it --. I've been in tears every single night after I tuck the boys in bed with what am I going to do. There is no doubt we can move into a low-income (HUD) area but I WILL NOT raise my boys in a drug infested/crime area. My anxiety has been through the roof. I know they claim ''everything happens for a reason'' but this time I just am beside myself. Just the looking around for a new complex, the phone calls, trying to rebudget isn't all of it -- I am dealing with a young man that is fearing this change soooo much. Between losing the very few 8 year old friends he has and changing a school -- the idea of a transition is too much for him. I am just getting this all off my chest -- If I don't die from anxiety/stress then I am convinced I will live til I am 100. lol. I really have no way of proving this management company is not renewing our lease b/c of my sons -- they claim in their letter to me it is a 'business decision'. I guess I am just looking for prayers to help me find something in our price range and to help my son with this ease of transition. If you read down to here.. thanks! I am at a lost to what to do. I am reaching out to the world -- what would you do! April is Autism Awareness Month and more than ever do I need people to become more aware and acceptable of autism. What am I to do????? If you wanna share with someone you think can help then please do! Thanks!

Mission Accomplished!

Social stories, charts, rewards, routines -- sometimes they work sometimes they don't.  But today was an extraordinary day which I just wanted to jump up and down and scream hallelujah!  My ASD boy has had a nasty cold the last 2 weeks and that was enough to blow his whole demeanor out of whack every day, every hour of that day and each minute out of that hour.  Lightly said - the last two weeks have been extremely challenging.

Although today even with his cold and coughing all night long and struggling to wake up for school - which like I said has been routine for the last two weeks I decided to try something new.  His biggest obsession right now is playing Wizard101 after school on the computer and completing missions.  I decided to use that word - MISSIONS - into his morning routine today.  It went something like this:

As I was waking him his twin brother was already walking out of the bedroom to get in for his shower.  I told my asd son that he has a mission to complete this morning to earn his starbust candy after school.  The mission was:

Part 1 - To treat his brother nicely and remember personal space (no popping bubbles)  -- completed
Part 2 - be fully dressed for school before your brother exits the bathroom - completed...
Part 3 - Eat his breakfast and cleanup before 7:10 am -- completed
Part 4 - Brush teeth, brush hair, bathroom and out the door by 7:22pm -- completed

This was all a verbal mission given to him and he followed it to the T.  This was the best morning I can literally remember and I am going back years.  Was it the reward of the starburst or was it he was head strung in completing his Morning Mission.  It worked - that is all I care about.  I left his starburst on the table so he could see it when he came home from school with a note attached that said:  Mission Completed - Congratulations, I am proud of you.  Love Mom".  He knew when he left for school that he completed the mission.

Well after school before the door knob left his hand coming into the home he was asking if he could have his starburst.  He must of been thinking about it all day long.  I decided once again to use the Mission tactic for his afternoon chores for Thursday.  Mission was completed without any problems (although this time I did have it written down for him and he followed it step by step).  His reward for that Mission was gum for school as it does help him focus more and most of his teachers allow him to chew it.

What a beautiful day it has been.  Now I need to become more creative and give cute little names to these missions.  How long will it be effective for I really do not know - but I will take it one day at a time.

I always said I love challenges since I was in high school - and oh boy, I sure was handled one that will last a life time and I wouldn't want it any other way.  Thanks for reading and sorry there has been such delays in getting my blog out.

Tough Summer

We started WrapAround Services and have had about 6 weeks with the MT.  Do I see a difference? - nope - He does not look forward to the MT coming over each week for about 1.5 hours. Transition time is almost 20 - 30 minutes and it is so stressful.  The MT doesn't even seem to know how to control this.  Great MT huh!  Does that mean I need to cease wraparound - I have no clue.  His summer has been really difficult.  I have been trying to make it more structured for him but I guess I just don't have the skills like school does.  He did attend ESY for two days out of the week during the summer for about 6 hrs each day - which I have to say he absolutely loved.  I think next year during our IEP meeting I am going to have to push for 5 days instead.  As long as he is on his electronics (Computer, Wii, PlayStation and Gameboy) he is the most content child in the world -- until the website he is playing on decides to do an unscheduled maintenance and decides to shut it down - then he goes into a verbal outburst and gets quite angry.  I have had him spend more time on the outside let it be for swimming, walking around the block or getting together with his one friend to break up his day but it is sometimes very hard to convince him. He would rather sit at the computer all day if I would let him.  His eating habits are still poor - but he tells me that is just the way it is.  Today he said -" but mom, if i wasn't growing then you should be concerned - but look I am almost as tall as you". He is so right there - He will be looking down at me soon. instead of looking up at me.

Sometimes I feel like I am at the end of my rope.  It's not that I want to so call change him because he is the most caring, affectionate, intelligent boy whom I love so much but its more trying to understand him and his way of thinking.  Trying to catch the verbal outburst or physical aggression before it happens is so hard.  It is not until afterwards that I think back on the situation and realized what triggered it and for the most part it makes sense - its that trigger I want to recognize before he explodes.  Suggestions are always welcomed.  

Only 2 more weeks before school starts.  I do look forward to it.  He will continue to be in the emotional support class.  He will be pulled for Math into the regular classroom with an assistant.  School has talked about getting him some type of electronic device for him to communicate with but this still has not happened.  I think I might have to take the next step and get him something for home.  This way he can do his reports, journal, etc.  He loves using his camera and that would be so special to him to be able to learn to download his own pictures onto his own computer.  And just maybe he can verbalize his daily feelings to help me understand what is going on in his head.  He is a very intelligent boy and I really want to see him more challenged - just hoping it doesn't frustrate him more.  Only time will tell.